Church of the SubPrime

The Passenger

2009-04-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

So SubPrime

2009-04-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

Subprime, An Animated Short About The US Housing Market

“Bonding with their Downward-facing Humans”

2009-04-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

“Bonding with their Downward-facing Humans”
By: Bethany Lyttle. New York Times, April 8th, 2009.

Overview
White people like to make the most of their free time, but many of them discovered that time doing yoga was time away from their dog and time with their dog was time away from yoga. It was becoming a fairly significant problem. Thankfully, Doga has been created to allow white people to combine two of their favorite things into one expensive, time consuming activity called Doga or dog yoga.

Concerns
“Doga runs the risk of trivializing yoga by turning a 2,500-year-old practice into a fad,” said Julie Lawrence, 60, a yoga instructor and studio owner in Portland, Ore. “To live in harmony with all beings, including dogs, is a truly yogic principle. But yoga class may not be the most appropriate way to express this.”

She is correct, the most appropriate way to express yogic principles is by wearing $100 stretch pants at an expensive yoga studio. Failing that, the second most appropriate way to express your devotion to yoga is to do it at home with a holy DVD and yoga mat from Target.

Value
These classes run between $15-25 per class and according to one instructor feature a number of complex activities:

Ms. Bryan, the author in Seattle, said: “It’s a new field so there can be confusion about what doga is and isn’t.” Her classes are loosely structured and filled with humor. “Who cares if everybody’s facing the same direction and doing exactly the same thing?” she said. “Besides, laughing is spiritual.”

To make that clear, white people are paying $15-25 per session to hold their dog in the same position as other white people. This is considered a relative bargain.

Stuff Mentioned in the Article
#53 Dogs
#15 Yoga
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
Portland, Oregon (Book)
#11 Asian Girls
#92 Book Deals
#101 Being Offended

The Sian Bush has been Blocked!

2009-04-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

[MP3] Matt & Kim vs Beastie Boys - Good Ol' Fashioned Rump Shaker

[MP3] Matt & Kim - Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare

Chelsea Clinton Cubed in Red Fishnets

2009-04-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

Cubicle life is a wonderful life via Baab.

Oh, shit
Akubi just reminded me that I forgot to mention this Urban Hero.

Constantines - "Do What You Can Do (alternate version)".

Bowling Sucks

2009-03-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

Kazukij via there's holes in my head

Show me the Roof

2009-03-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

Herman Düne - "Show Me The Roof".

No Comparison Whatsoever

2009-03-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

I've been getting rather annoyed with the anti-Obama BS over at EN, but found H. Simpson's link interesting.

Current Tent City:
Umm, it would appear the woman above spent some serious time in jail, prison, homeless, on meth, etc. in her life.

Great Depression:
Did she?
I don't think so.
Thanks to the Boomers everyone spends a hell of a lot of time feeling sorry for themselves and seeking assistance these days. Well, those people are the fucking problem! And I'm including the fucking CEOs and the rest of the motherfuckers who are lazy, deluded fuck-ups who feel entitled.
Even though I can't stand that segment of the population that brings everyone else down, I do in fact believe in compassion - something that our supposed "Compassionate Conservative" Ex-President from hell promised and didn't deliver.
Conservative Repugs, Libertarians, whatever find it is a hell of a lot easier to be complete assholes and not give a rat's ass about anything or anyone, but if you can still sleep at night I feel very sorry for you.
It seems I really cannot find the proper coordinates to understand human behavior.

Winter Gloves - Let Me Drive

When I cannot understand things, I like making charts, graphing them or sucking them into a database for further analysis.

2009-03-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, it is terribly subjective to judge what is X as opposed to Y, but I generally find that human behavior falls somewhere between
X=Compassion
and
Y=Selfishness.
Historically speaking, my simple X/Y theory has been quite accurate. The degree of X vs. Y has varied with each recession, depression or however one might want to call a potentially serious economic meltdown.
For example, the one in the early 80's created an entire country of Young Republicans sporting green and pink striped Polo shirts that could theoretically be construed as a form of giving you that special gift of a seizure-esque migraine – well, hey assholes, I got a super serious migraine because of your Bullshit….The pink and green combo still makes me sick, but nonetheless the Y axis was much stronger then as opposed to now according to my charts. What I find these days are far more "Gray Areas" as our Patron Saint Casey Serin has suggested.
While I was no fan of my early 80’s graph, at least people had fucking opinions back then even if I disagreed. These days everything is a goddamned gray area or a reality TV show.
If we look back to our last Depression, my X/Y coordinates are far more balanced.
...Lost my train of thought because I thought I had a "follower" but can no longer find the True Believer of the Church of the SubPrime...

Broken Robot Girl

2009-02-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

is pretty hot as far as I'm concerned.

Broken Robot Girl #1

Demonbaby has an impressive Flickr photostream.

A Googleplex asks… Dear Urinal: Why won’t she call me???

"Shoot me again"

2009-02-12T22:36:00.000-08:00

We could blame it on the "Native Americans" or Hallucinogens, but for whatever reason Bolinas is so fucked up.
Where's my badge for surviving all the fucking acid and shrooms with my head functionally together? I want my bail out package!
When will you end the experiment?

Hacienda Star Wars

2009-01-31T22:47:00.000-08:00

So I went to my local clean yet "authentic" burrito spot for dinner and it was no longer fucking authentic.
There were a bunch of non-Latino software engineers and people drinking Coors Light and shit. The entire situation reminded me of above.

TWO BUS-RIDES

2009-01-25T17:14:00.000-08:00

Fever Ray - "Concrete Walls".
"It wasn't scientists who discovered the fever ray; it was a woman. She was 23. On January 22, 2009, she returned home by public transportation. She wore a navy blue down jacket, jeans. She had a backpack with three notebooks, stories by Kelly Link, Milton's Paradise Lost. Disembarking from the 55 bus, she walked to the apartment she shared with a man. The apartment was full of sounds. The television was on, the radio was on. As the woman crossed the rooms she turned the devices off. She then heard the other sounds. At the end of the long hallway was their bedroom, and in their bedroom the man was with another woman. The woman stood in the doorway watching them. Finally she lifted her arm and pointed her open hand at the man. The ray was invisible and did not feel of anything. The man noticed her standing there, stopped what he was doing, said "Kay, I--". She turned and left the apartment. She waited for the 55 bus. One day later, the man developed a fever of 103°F. He developed nausea, fatigue, insomnia, chills, sweats, mild hallucination; there were effects of the fever ray. The man did not get better. Nor did the man get sicker. The man's fever persisted for 51 years, until he died of unrelated liver failure."

Strange Dreams

2009-01-25T16:54:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year / Tet Offensive, 1968
this isn't happiness
Yesterday, I had many strange dreams/nightmares in which I was somehow stuck in a war/battle/conflict that I had nothing to do with in a South Pacific island, but they were blowing up temples and hunting me nonetheless and all I had was my fucking Swiss Army knife and wasabi.

Sh! The Octopus

2009-01-23T19:15:00.000-08:00

If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger,
There'd Be a Whole Lot of Dead Copycats

Bonnie and Clyde

2009-01-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

Greed is Over!

2009-01-20T18:42:00.001-08:00

Changethethought™

Woohoo!

I don't mind at all.

Killing my Cat for the Kids in Gaza

2009-01-12T20:01:00.000-08:00

I shall slice my cat's throat by Saturday evening if this killing of innocent kids in Gaza BS isn't dealt with.

What is wrong with you people?

2008-12-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

Do you not realize how screwed we are?
e?

Happy Haiku

2008-11-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

BTW, like a lobster I can be cut into many pieces that continue to move. These things happen when one lacks a brain.

If George W. is on his way out why am I still feeling miserable?

2008-11-16T21:22:00.000-08:00

MAYBE BECAUSE HE HAS LEFT US WITH A HUGE PILE OF SHIT that no prez could deal with in one, two or three terms.

We're screwed, but I guess itsallgood.

F You Forever

2008-11-14T18:15:00.000-08:00

I hope that for the future job interviews. Perhaps I forgot that kids these days never have to work.

Three planets orbiting star HR 8799 and one planet orbiting star Fomalhaut are visually verified by telescopes, the first extrasolar planets whose existence have been confirmed via direct imaging.

I Am the Egg Man!

2008-10-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

Zee Egg End

Definitely not Kant

2008-07-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

I am aware of all internet traditions

2008-06-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

Skinned Alive

2008-06-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org.

You Mr. Bush Need to GET THE HELL OFF THE INTERNET!

2008-05-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

And STFU!

Hanna needs help figuring it all out

2008-04-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

Vote or provide some suggestions here.

Be Polite.

2008-03-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

Devolution

2008-03-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

The ultimate blonde zombie via Blonde Zombies

Trigger Happy Americana

2008-02-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

El blog Ausente's American Dream

GANG BANG

Fuck Exxon

2008-02-20T00:34:00.001-08:00

exxon valdez by ~mgroenne

Flying was so much simpler 7 years ago - one didn't waste fuel circling and unable to land for no apparent reason.
When I hear the goddamned orange alert bullshit I want to vomit. The situation is no more orange, red, purple, yellow, green, magenta, etc. than it ever was except for a culture of manufactured fear which has been crippling this country for far too long and I'm fucking sick of it.
I would like to see a post-Exxon Halliburton et al. United States of freedom and reason - is that so much to ask?

Poppies and Real Estate

2008-02-02T20:18:00.000-08:00

It seems the desire for the perfect home is more like love and heroin/opium than anything else.

Once (there was a point to previously posted video)

2008-01-26T23:19:00.000-08:00

Song Getting the “Once” Over
How many others are getting the once over?

Vaporized in Iraq

2008-01-23T20:56:00.000-08:00

I Want To Be Evil

Dasha's Piano & Rage

2008-01-21T21:40:00.000-08:00

Take the Fishnets Bowling

2008-01-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

For some reason Akubi has requested that I feature Luba in fishnet stockings and a reference to Zillow Book on this nearly defunct blog.

The Changeling

2007-12-26T21:51:00.001-08:00

Church of the Sian Bush

2007-12-03T18:45:00.001-08:00

Well, M. SINGH has been rather quiet these days so I don't have much relevant content for this blog these days. When I learned that Sian, one of the last natural looking erotic models, had shaved her bush I was horrified and wanted to preserve a memory of her now missing muffy muff at Church of the Sian Bush. Let's hope she didn't use laser so we can see the original Sian again. It would be so sad if she did.

Ave Maria

2007-11-16T22:45:00.000-08:00

BTW, I thought that film sucked and was a pile of BS, but this was ok.

My Used Mercedes in Cream

2007-11-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

This reminds me of fucked up 70's "parents" more concerned with the soft leather seats on their fucking Mercedes than the kid in a coma in the back.

Life is an endless series of lost hope

2007-11-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

Paranoid Childhood Favorite

2007-11-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

This must be a Babel fish translation from somewhere:

; Met a girl called lola and I took her back to my place
Feelin guilty, feelin scared, hidden cameras everywhere
Stop! hold on. stay in control

Girl, I want you here with me
But Im really not as cool as Id like to be
cause theres a red, under my bed (I thought it was a rat under his bed)
And theres a little yellow man in my head
And theres a true blue inside of me
That keeps stoppin me, touchin ya, watchin ya, lovin ya

Paranoia, the destroyer.
Paranoia, the destroyer.

Well I fell asleep, then I woke feelin kinda queer
Lola looked at me and said, ooh you look so weird.
She said, man, theres really something wrong with you.
One day youre gonna self-destruct.
Youre up, youre down, I cant work you out
You get a good thing goin then you blow yourself out.

Silly boy ya self-destroyer. silly boy ya self-destroyer

Silly boy you got so much to live for
So much to aim for, so much to try for
You blowing it all with paranoia
Youre so insecure you self-destroyer

(and it goes like this, here it goes)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(here it goes again)
Paranoia, the destroyer

Dr. dr. help me please, I know youll understand
Theres a time device inside of me, Im a self-destructin man
Theres a red, under my bed
And theres a little green man in my head
And he said, youre not goin crazy, youre just a bit sad
cause theres a man in ya, knawin ya, tearin ya into two.

Silly boy ya self-destroyer.
Paranoia, the destroyer

Self-destroyer, wreck your health
Destroy friends, destroy yourself
The time device of self-destruction
Light the fuse and start eruption

(yea, it goes like this, here it goes)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(heres to paranoia)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(hey hey, here it goes)
Paranoia, the destroyer
(and it goes like this)

Paranoia, the destroyer
(and it goes like this.)

Another vintage Lola:

I Hate Dolphin Killers!

2007-11-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

Help Stop the Largest and Cruelest Slaughter of Dolphins in the World
Via TokyoMango

God and a Deck of Cards

2007-10-24T17:46:00.000-07:00

riot rite right clit clip click

Burma's streets are quiet--no mass demonstrations, no riot police. But the calm is an illusion. Change is coming to Burma, and we are all a part of it.

Here's where we stand: The regime has massacred, tortured, and intimidated its critics at home, and continues its night arrests and brutal interrogations. But while it has momentarily silenced the domestic opposition, its attacks on the revered Buddhist monks ignited an anger amongst the Burmese people that cannot be extinguished. Contacts inside Burma tell us that the demonstrators are steadily regrouping, even in the face of the deadly crackdown.

And around the world, the roar has grown deafening--so powerful that governments are scrambling for ways to bring new pressure to bear on the junta. Government leaders and the media have publicly credited the outcry of global civil society...
...
PPS: If your friends haven't yet signed the petition, urge them to sign at: http://avaaz.org/en/burma_hope_lives/6.php

Yoginis on Flickr

2007-10-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

astropence's photostream

Free Burma NOW!

2007-10-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

This is what I would like to do to the junta and their bullshit...

Free Burma (and post this on your blog)

2007-09-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

Help the People of Burma — Post this on Your Blog!

Note: This is a new kind of online protest that uses blogs to spread a petition globally. To participate, just add your blog by following the instructions in this blog post.

This not an issue of partisan politics, this is an issue of basic human rights and democracy. Please help to prevent a human tragedy in Burma by adding your blog and asking others to do the same.

By passing this meme on through the blogosphere hopefully we can generate more awareness and avert a serious tragedy. As concerned world-citizens this something we bloggers can do to help.

How to participate:

1. Copy this entire post to your blog, including this special number: 1081081081234

2. After a few days, you can search Google for the number 1081081081234 to find all blogs that are participating in this protest and petition. Note: Google indexes blogs at different rates, so it could take longer for your blog to show up in the results.

THE SITUATION IN BURMA AND WHY IT MATTERS TO ALL OF US

There is no press freedom in Burma and the government has started turning off the Internet and other means of communication, so it is difficult to get news out. Individuals on the ground have been sending their day-by-day reports to the BBC, and they are heartbreaking. I encourage you to read these accounts to see for yourself what is really going on in Burma. Please include this link in your own blog post.

The situation in Burma is increasingly dangerous. Hundreds of thousands of unarmed peaceful protesters, including monks and nuns, are risking their lives to march for democracy against an unpopular but well-armed military dictatorship that will stop at nothing to continue its repressive rule. While the generals in power and their families are literally dripping in gold and diamonds, the people of Burma are impoverished, deprived of basic human rights, cut off from the rest of the world, and increasingly under threat of violence.

This week the people of Burma have risen up collectively in the largest public demonstrations against the ruling Junta in decades. It’s an amazing show of bravery, decency, and democracy in action. But although these protests are peaceful, the military rulers are starting to crack down with violence. Already there have been at least several reported deaths, and hundreds of critical injuries from soldiers beating unarmed civilians to the point of death.

The actual fatalities and injuries are probably far worse, but the only news we have is coming from individuals who are sneaking reports past the authorities. Unfortunately it looks like a large-scale blood-bath may ensue — and the victims will be mostly women, children, the elderly and unarmed monks and nuns.

Contrary to what the Burmese, Chinese and Russian governments have stated, this is not merely a local internal political issue, it is an issue of global importance and it affects the global community. As concerned citizens, we cannot allow any government anywhere in the world to use its military to attack and kill peacefully demonstrating, unarmed citizens.

In this modern day and age violence against unarmed civilians is unacceptable and if it is allowed to happen, without serious consequences for the perpetrators, it creates a precedent for it to happen again somewhere else. If we want a more peaceful world, it is up to each of us to make a personal stand on these fundamental issues whenever they arise.

Please join me in calling on the Burmese government to negotiate peacefully with its citizens, and on China to intervene to prevent further violence. And please help to raise awareness of the developing situation in Burma so that hopefully we can avert a large-scale human disaster there.

Where's my F-ing Hot Ass in Fishnets Porn?

2007-09-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

Zeee Book Z Zillow Book, That's it!

The Official Song of The Church of the SubPrime AKA Implosion 3.7

2007-08-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

Am I Sick?

2007-08-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

Or are the subliminal messages making this look hot...?

M. SINGH, Where Art Thou?

2007-08-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

At 8:08 AM, M. SINGH said...
GENTLEMEN,

With Mr. SERIN's last foreclosure auction scheduled for this Friday, and the sudden drop in Mr. SWABY's business -- as well as the creation of a bizarre blog targeting Robert COTÉ-- it seems that the two have partnered in a new business venture.

You may have heard of the Church of the SubGenius[tm]. Messrs. SERIN and SWABY have created the Church of the SubPrime[tm]. Not only does this provide a vehicle of "sweet" 501(c)(3) tax-exemption benefits, it also gives them an even bigger opportunity to court media attention. No longer will they be relegated to late night telecasts or basic cable!

They are recruiting new members from newspaper ads and signs strategically placed on telephone poles exhorting: "Own this home with no banks! G-d hates banks!" Its misogynistic scriptures preach the evil of tinfoil clothing on females, and advocate a return to "traditional duties" for women -- such as cabinet assembly, pool cleaning, lawn-mowing, and basic wage earning.

The first thing they plan to do is picket foreclosure auctions, such as the one this Friday. Also, in a bold move, they are also planning on picketing the funerals of Wells Fargo and RE/MAX employees.

You can see a still image of their recent efforts here.

I remain,

M. SINGH